A Team

Annabelle and I have an amazing team, I couldn't be more grateful! After some intense red light sessions I have discovered some more tightness in Annabelles back. My mom came in town to visit so I had the idea of keniso taping Annabelle. My mom is licensed to keniso tape and taught Heather the basics to continue the rest of the winter. With my main focus being rehabbing her this winter I decided to shave the area we would be taping. Sounds crazy I know but I have worn keniso tape myself and you don't believe if works until you've had it on. It's a tool many physical and occupational therapists use when rehabing patients. The tape is used to manipulate the muscle to release, relax, or contract. In addition to red lighting, I will continue the exercises we've started for her rehab all winter. 

The Roots

I was always a pretty independent kid, my way was usually right in my eyes. A lot of people still see me as this confident, independent girl who can conquer the world. The cover does say a lot about a book, but the inside is the best part! 

A few years back I was this broken, lost girl, with more issues that you could count. No confidence, no trust in faith, couldn't believe in anything including myself. I was going through the motions of life. Work, eat, sleep. That's all I did and it didn't even really matter to me. I had no social life and didn't care for one, I didn't think I was good enough to have friends. Then a little light had turned on, all of a sudden I wanted a horse. So, I got one. From there the change that happened was rapid and upward. I'm growing into myself, growing in confidence (most days), understanding myself, growing in faith. I care about me, which seems silly, but there was a time I didn't. When I think of something trying to grow I think of a single seed. It's planted in the ground, on the earth all by itself. No sense of direction, it only knows the light is up. So it starts, as it grows it needs a system to give it water, support in the ground. The roots, the roots are the most important part of the plant. You kill the roots and it will die. But as the plant grows the roots get bigger and stronger. So when the plant is reaching up nothing can knock it down and kill it. I have an amazing root system that keeps me planted, but allows me to reach up and stand tall. I wish I could name each person individually but I would end up forgeting some of you because there are so many! I am so grateful for everyone who has believed in me and continues to.  I couldn't do it without you. Without my roots I would have given up and fallen over by now. But now I have the strength. You guys encourage me to be my best always and to keep moving forward. I can't even express in words how blessed I am to have all of you. Now, I can conquer the world. I know it won't be easy, but I know it will be worth it. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11

Pain Empowers Growth

I generally don't start with a picture right away, but it spoke to me tonight. As many of my fellow Parelli peers know horsemanship is a journey. At times it's not always easy, simple, and sometimes enjoyable. Even though I've only been in it for 3 years I've heard the stories from others of the struggles they face and have faced. Without pain how can have you the strength to push through. Everyone struggles, everyone's journey has been hard at some time. Learn to see that in others so you can be for them. I have learned this with my horse. What qualities do we share that makes us bond even better? For Annabelle and I we are both fighters, both fighting for our life. She was fighting in a literal way, I was fighting to feel a purpose, to feel alive.  Changing how I feel to things and how I internally react is an on-going process. At times painful, but it empowers me to grow and be better. I have been battling to decide if I want to write a book, talk about those hard deep feelings no one wants to talk about. My fear is being so emotionally exposed, but my biggest goal is to inspire others. 

As for a more 'normal' blog update: we had our novi expo over the weekend. I was able to take my bridle off during the performance. After jumping she decided we should center to the gate..(hmmmm) and check things out. After lots of smiling we checked things out and went back to the middle to finish our performance. The energy of the crowd got her excited. And we all know how I get in those kinds of situations...hahaha. But I am so proud of her it was her second expo and my first time ever riding in a crowd like that! I need to work on my confidence! Hoping to get the video soon- it's not in my hands how quickly it is done so just waiting patiently :-)  did some level 4 finesse and freestyle run throughs hoping to film those before the end of the month. Then just on-line, ground willing (it's frozen)! 

My one rein (halter & lead) warmup for the expo 

Annabelle is back!

With some pretty intense upper body rehab, massages, supplements and over a month pretty much off. Annabelle is feeling and looking like herself. The year in Colorado wasn't good for her, it was hard to find something as perfect as I have it here. I let go of all the pressures I had on myself to get my level 4 filmed and put the focus on her and the long term her. A couple days ago I got an audition taped that I'm going to send in- my first level 4 audition. It's a Liberty audition which I surprised myself with because that's our hardest savvy. She had a hard time staying connected. Still bringing her back slowly and not expecting a lot I think she will be in really good shape come summer. 3 years ago when I got her if you would have told me in 3 years level 4 was within arms reach I would have thought you were crazy. She has taught me so much and continues to. Her sensitivity has given me really good feel and timing for other horses. She always speaks her mind about something she doesn't like which has made me better. For me it's not about having my level 4 but the journey we have had together to be this close. NOW let the games begin! I couldn't ask for a horse with a better foundation then the one that the Parelli program has given us. 

Blessed Challenges

Not usually words you see together, blessed challenges. That sums up my week, I don't usually like to talk about too much personal life especially negative things on my blog. This blog is also like a journal for when I write a book, (hopefully can get around to that). This has been an incredible journey so far, there has been hard times and challenges but this is by far the hardest challenge maybe in my life because my mom and stepdad are 1300 miles away. Coming to michigan I had a place to stay, my best friends house. She has a farm so Annabelle could stay there. She is like an angel to me that God put here for me. She makes me want to be better, and do good in this world. She is extremely talented in the physical well being of a horse and certified it equine massage. What a perfect pair- me using the horse psychology and her knowing the body, together we know we are the perfect pair. Our weaknesses is the others strengths. On Monday night after an awesome day with our horses we were surprised with the news that her parents wanted me out. I wasn't given an explanation other then 'they want privacy'. I was heartbroken went outside to call my mom before the breakdown happened. I didn't want anyone to see me upset, weak, broken, and scared. I tried to have faith that there was a reason. Everything happens for a reason right? I wasn't completely shocked as they weren't very nice to me from the start, always telling me what I was doing wrong. And changing the rules to make it very difficult for me to live there. As if they were trying to make it my decision to leave. I didn't feel at peace there, felt like I was walking on eggshells. So even though I was devastated, it felt like a ton of bricks being lifted off my shoulders.  I am now living at the barn I first boarded Annabelle at. Living with Lori, the lady who taught me Parelli. I was welcomed with open arms, but I still feel homeless in a way. She has a family of her own, married with 4 boys and the farm. Feeling so alone, and unloved are hard feelings not to have. But I know deep down that I am surrounded with people who love me. During my second interview with Beaumont this morning I went up to visit a friend. I worked with him at Beaumont before, his fiancé who I have met a couple times gave me a beautiful bracelet with an amazing card that made me tear up. It could not have come at a more perfect time. I will post the pictures below. It reminded me that I have so many people who love me, for who I am. And for what I stand for, what I believe in. I should be surrounding myself with those people as I continue this journey. Not people who bring me down and remind me of a past I try to forget. I will be loving to them and kind, and treat them with respect. I will not feel guilty and ashamed for who I am. I will stand tall and trust God that no matter what happens its for a reason, and usually a good one. 

So where do I go from here? From here I will move forward look ahead. Praying I will get this job. My best friend and I have decided to get an apartment together, so she will be moving out of her house (horses too). And we will move forward with our dreams. I am only sad in times I feel lonely, I know this is right. But just because it's right, it doesn't make it easy. I will shine, no one and nothing can get in the way. I am strong. 

Annabelle Update

We have been watching Annabelle's 3 legs all week. Rain rot is treated and back leg swelling is gone. The one front leg swelling we discovered has been there since before I even had her. It's so subtle no one had ever noticed. After a trail ride a couple weeks ago we noticed it was swollen- no heat and no lameness. With almost a week off of just hand walking she was starting to get frustrated. She started rearing and wanting to play. I played with her today at the walk and trot just really light work. Continuing with the massaging, food changes, and some added supplements she's starting to look a lot better. Will be having the front leg swelling checked out to find out what exactly it is. If this week with some light work she remains ok, no heat or added swelling we will be doing a dressage schooling show- intro test on Sunday. Will keep you posted! 

Annabelle Update

I have been pretty lucky to not have anything major with Annabelle. Since I have been in Michigan we have really been focused on getting her moving better. While I was in Colorado she had a lot of minor injuries that kept her off and just in the pasture most of the year. Trying to get her back in shape and then I went to my externship. She looks better but not how she looked before I left Michigan. This morning she had 3 swollen legs, one of the legs we have been keeping an eye on. The other two had some rain rot on them and swelling went down after hosing and walking. Now just focused on the one leg we have been keeping an eye on. She will have most of the winter off for recovery, getting muscles looser and getting stronger. Heather has been giving her massages and they are making a huge difference. Nothing is serious which is a good thing, I believe we are sent what we can handle. Which leads me to the next part of this post. I have to finish my level 4, and I would love to with Annabelle. But her body right now just can't do it. So I am taking on a challenge for myself. A different partner to get to level 4, my goal is before the end of the year. Fable is a 12 yr old National Show Horse. He is my best friends horse, she has done some Parelli with him. But mostly dressage since she was 13 when she bought him. He is LBE/RBE, so extroverted and confident most of the time. He has already been a good teacher for me. I know it will be challenging but that's okay I like challenges. I am going to blog about my journey with him. 

Then, the last part is the logo some of you saw on Facebook. As I mentioned before I will be doing eventing with Annabelle. She is extremely talented and I'm excited to see her shine. (Big reason for giving her the winter mostly off). I want her to be really fit and strong and ready for the summer. And there are a lot of areas I still need to grow in that I don't need to put her through. I want to compete to show the world what Parelli helped me accomplish. I want to inspire people to live their dreams, to go after them. Not to be afraid of failing or worry about the road blocks that can occur to find away around them. My mom taught me that when the world throws crap in your face stand up, be strong, and don't be afraid. She inspires me everyday to find me, and be me. I don't want to just stand for one thing and be alone standing there. I want a team that has the same goals and dreams as I do to stand there and represent what we are about. That is where we got our name from. The logo was a combined effort but we did a lot from scratch. 

I will keep updates on Annabelle's progress, again nothing to be worried about just proceeding with caution and giving her the time she deserves and needs to make a full recovery. Thank you for your support! 

Be me...RBE

As I leave my house to go get Annabelle ready for the michigan trip, car is packed tears already shed. I appreciate so much of what I learned of myself during my externship. I always struggled with 'well what horsenality am I' and to a lot it may not matter. I like knowing so I can help myself understand myself and be OK with what I'm feeling. AND know what strategies to use to better myself for those around me. I've always tried to suppress myself and I always felt like crap. When I find someone I can express myself to and have more RBE tendencies I feel so alive and on fire. I got myself so worried that I'm not okay. Instead of looking for a solution to help myself be more calm. While packing this morning I couldn't sit still, I had to have music on, and my emotions were going crazy. So I forced myself to sit down and focus on why I'm going back to michigan. Doing this every half hour- or so... I found more peace. Instead of thinking about
everything I'm afraid of I tried changing my thoughts to my dream. So for the first time in a really really longtime I feel okay with me and who I am. For a minute ;)

The Move Back

After many hours of thought, tears, excitement, planning, and making decisions. I am moving back to Michigan! I believe it is the best thing for Annabelle and I. I will be staying with my best friend Heather and Annabelle will be right outside the door! Heather is going to help me get Annabelle's muscles in top shape for this summer. Meanwhile I will be playing with lots of other horses. If you want me to play with yours let me know! My focus with Annabelle is to get my level four, in the next month or so. The main reason is because there is a lot more opportunity that has already presented itself in Michigan. We will be leaving tomorrow! I know Annabelle isn't going to love the 20+ hour trailer ride but I know she will be happy to be on Michigan grass!! 

Support

I have had a pretty amazing weekend with the Parelli Summit going on, I got to catch up with some friends from my fast track. I am so grateful for the support I have from around the world. You guys keep me going, I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for the amazing support I get. All of the positive things people say about my journey with Annabelle and how far we have come means so much to me. It's the fuel to keep me looking into the future.  I haven't publicly announced my goals and dreams with Annabelle but now feels like the right time. My goal is to do eventing with her, and my dream-goal is to go as far as the Rolex with her.  She's incredibly talented I just need to catch up! I'm going to take it slow and go at her pace and ability (and mine!). But I'm pretty excited for our future following my externship which is over at the end of the week :(. I have learned so much being here and can't wait for all the info to sink into my brain. To all of my supporters, thank you! You have made a big difference. 

Extern: Day 46

Really nice morning focusing on having straightness with our horses using less of our carrot sticks and more of our reins! Once we start carrot stick riding we often rely on our carrot stick more then out legs! What would happen if you couldn't use your carrot stick? Are you prepared? Then we went on a trail ride to scooch mountain, it's a very steep steep hill with really good footing and really makes the horses get on their hind end. It was our second time going and Annabelle always does fine and I always get nervous about it! This afternoon we had some horse development time. 

Externship: Day 44

Been neglecting my blog- not on purpose just very tired! Over half way through our course it's so crazy it started going by slow now the weeks go by so fast. Annabelle has made huge progress. Very proud of her, she has so much try. Today we did liberty in the big arena and she left at the beginning but trotted right back to me. She went over jumps, did an amazing stop, when I would run away she would run to keep up with me. And I got flying changes. 

Extern: The best days of my life

So so so happy tonight, I am so blessed to have such an amazing horse, an amazing partner. She was fantastic during our performance last night up at Pats big top for the savvy team BBQ demo and again tonight at the fair. I haven't felt this full in a long long time. I'm learning so much and have two awesome instructors who help us learn information and retain it and put it to use. They believe in us, and in me, which helps me learn even more. A lot of self discovery this time around and it has been great. Being myself is so hard to do, but once I do it I feel so much better. So happy and so proud of my girl! 

Extern: Day 36

So sorry for not posting! Got behind lady week on sleep and blog posting had to wait. Can't believe we are in week 6! It's crazy to think that. Today we got a lesson with Ellie Pat's barn manager and she taught us about how to get our horses more connected to our body and not using our reins! 'The more you use the reins the less they use their brains!' It was awesome. Very demanding of Annabelle though but she did well. Then this afternoon we practiced for our savvy teams on Wednesday and that also went well. Got home and in bed early, perfect way to end a Monday. 

Extern: Day 30

Had a FANTASTIC day! Went out in a field and did follow the rail I really focused on my posting and got some good feedback on how to make it better. Annabelle matched me and it was a really good calm follow the rail! Then we did some exersises to help us get the correct canter lead by using just out body and weight the right way. Annabelle did fantastic! I had one of the best canters on her. It was so calm and she was really using her butt. She stayed calm and connected with me the whole time. It was very hot this afternoon so we watched a video of Linda Parelli talking a little more about huminality. I have always been told I'm a LBI, have LBI tendencies but never felt confident especially in myself so I couldn't understand that. After hearing Linda explain everything in depth I see the RBI in me and also RBE. RBE most recently and it's funny because RBE feels very comfortable. I am mostly RBE with my best friend. RBEs element was fire, and I feel a fire in me when it comes to inspiring people and helping people and changing their lives I get so excited about it. Which is main reason for making my videos. If I can do it, so can you! I want to help others believe in themselves. 

Extern: Day 29

It will be harder to post blogs as our internet is still not working but I will do my best. Really good weekend, had some awesome liberty in the big arena and played some with my halter around Annabelle in the playground and she put in a ton of effort to stay with me. This morning we sat in for an orientation for the course Western Performance. Pat showed a horse cutting the flag at liberty and finding relief in the flag. He was really inspiring about having ambition and going further after level 4. And to empower our horses. I'll leave you on that note.