Blessed Challenges

Not usually words you see together, blessed challenges. That sums up my week, I don't usually like to talk about too much personal life especially negative things on my blog. This blog is also like a journal for when I write a book, (hopefully can get around to that). This has been an incredible journey so far, there has been hard times and challenges but this is by far the hardest challenge maybe in my life because my mom and stepdad are 1300 miles away. Coming to michigan I had a place to stay, my best friends house. She has a farm so Annabelle could stay there. She is like an angel to me that God put here for me. She makes me want to be better, and do good in this world. She is extremely talented in the physical well being of a horse and certified it equine massage. What a perfect pair- me using the horse psychology and her knowing the body, together we know we are the perfect pair. Our weaknesses is the others strengths. On Monday night after an awesome day with our horses we were surprised with the news that her parents wanted me out. I wasn't given an explanation other then 'they want privacy'. I was heartbroken went outside to call my mom before the breakdown happened. I didn't want anyone to see me upset, weak, broken, and scared. I tried to have faith that there was a reason. Everything happens for a reason right? I wasn't completely shocked as they weren't very nice to me from the start, always telling me what I was doing wrong. And changing the rules to make it very difficult for me to live there. As if they were trying to make it my decision to leave. I didn't feel at peace there, felt like I was walking on eggshells. So even though I was devastated, it felt like a ton of bricks being lifted off my shoulders.  I am now living at the barn I first boarded Annabelle at. Living with Lori, the lady who taught me Parelli. I was welcomed with open arms, but I still feel homeless in a way. She has a family of her own, married with 4 boys and the farm. Feeling so alone, and unloved are hard feelings not to have. But I know deep down that I am surrounded with people who love me. During my second interview with Beaumont this morning I went up to visit a friend. I worked with him at Beaumont before, his fiancé who I have met a couple times gave me a beautiful bracelet with an amazing card that made me tear up. It could not have come at a more perfect time. I will post the pictures below. It reminded me that I have so many people who love me, for who I am. And for what I stand for, what I believe in. I should be surrounding myself with those people as I continue this journey. Not people who bring me down and remind me of a past I try to forget. I will be loving to them and kind, and treat them with respect. I will not feel guilty and ashamed for who I am. I will stand tall and trust God that no matter what happens its for a reason, and usually a good one. 

So where do I go from here? From here I will move forward look ahead. Praying I will get this job. My best friend and I have decided to get an apartment together, so she will be moving out of her house (horses too). And we will move forward with our dreams. I am only sad in times I feel lonely, I know this is right. But just because it's right, it doesn't make it easy. I will shine, no one and nothing can get in the way. I am strong.