Thank you

What an amazing journey I am having with Annabelle. I can't believe what we accomplished tonight. She really is gods gift to me, she had taught me so much. Through her and the Parelli program my life has dramatically changed my life. When I got her October 2011 I had no idea how my life would change. I waited a while before riding and my focus was on her not teaching myself to ride. Finally this past summer at Jesse's clinic he really helped me get better focus on my riding and ever since I've been trying to focus in that. In the past couple months I've realized the big importance of becoming a better rider.  My biggest struggles are confidence and focus and staying relaxed because I turn right brained very quickly. Going over that jump tonight really tested my focus and will power which is really hard to have going over a 3ft jump! I had to stay relaxed or Annabelle wanted to refuse the jump and if my confidence was down I couldn't even begin to stay relaxed or focused. I did that by imagining all my instructors standing there cheering me on and believing that I could do it. Words just can't explain how grateful I am for everyone who has believed in me and has helped me. I'm so excited for what the future holds. 

Exposed

3.2 million students are bullied every year,  160,000 kids skip school every day because of fear of harassment and/or bullying. 20-30% of those kids tell someone. I have attached a picture of a comment I received this morning by someone I know. I am not mean to this person, in fact I haven't talked to them in over a year. We went our own ways when I decided to follow Parelli natural horsemanship. Deciding to use Parelli with my horse was the best decision I have ever made. The personal growth that it has given me has been amazing. I was bullied most of my years in school starting in 1st grade. It has shaped who I am today, Parelli has gotten me through a lot of the emotional barriers bullying caused. My reason for this post is to expose the harassment I received. I purposely left their name out of it because it doesn't matter who it is. What matters is exposing it and telling someone, so hopefully other kids will follow my lead. There is something freeing about exposing the bullying. I am not a victim, I am a survivor. All the years I chose to keep it to myself and not tell anyone are over. 1 in 4 people have experienced some type of bullying in their lifetime. I have a little over 400 Facebook friends which means a little over 100 of you have experienced bullying. The problem with our society today is we feed into the drama, we love it. They have even made very successful tv shows about it. Why? Why do we as a society love the lies about other people? Who I am, who I talk to, my beliefs, my reason for moving, anything I decide to do is my decision. Yes I do publicly have my videos on YouTube and on Facebook and even have a blog where I choose to openly talk about what I choose to talk about. As first a student and now an instructor I think seeing where I was and have come with my horse is inspirational. For my future students I think it's important for them to see that I wasn't always perfect. You're right I have only been riding for 2yrs. You are also right it takes a long time to learn to be a good rider, it takes dedication, it takes hard work, the willingness to be wrong, it takes people who encourage you and believe in you and most importantly I believe in myself. Lori is one of my dearest friends and without her, I wouldn't be where I am today. 

If you know anyone who has been bullied or you have been expose it, tell someone. I know it's hard because I have been there, I have been at the lowest part of my life because of things people said. And I simply chose to stop being a victim and to be a survivor. This person deserves none of my energy, so no I won't be responding. But I did want to post this for anyone else who has or may be suffering from the words of someone else. Be strong. 

New Year, New Barn!

So excited to be at a new barn to start off the new year. She will be in a large pen with her own round bale to eat as she wishes (my favorite part). Until she heals up, still no limping she trotted around a little bit as the other horses came up to see her. I am still so amazed at how well she adjusted, such a huge difference to when I would take her to new places before. I was really happy to see one of the first things she did was roll in the arena which makes me believe her leg isn't bothering her. Yesterday was her last day of bute and I'm just continuing on with the antibiotics now. I bought some stuff to help the proud flesh, hopefully that will be here tomorrow. Will be keeping everybody updated. Can't wait for her to be with the herd, I know shes going to be so much happier.

Do the impossible

With high hopes that I would pass my level 4 freestyle, I didn't. But I did pass with a 3++ with some good feedback. Mostly about my riding position- which I realize isn't as great. Mostly commented about my cantering. However I have really only felt comfortable cantering since my Jesse Peter clinic back in June. Before that I was too terrified about what was going to happen and couldn't relax and focus on my position. Jesse had me canter a circle around him, at the time I had two sticks and had to throw them down and pick up the reins. Focus on him and canter a circle, I can't say no to a Jesse challenge! (I could but wouldn't want to ;). Before I had never really used two reins at the canter, I don't really have a reason why other then I always used my sticks or a steady rein (one rein). It helped me become confident especially in a circle which is harder for both of us the rail is much easier. The experience was so freeing I didn't want to stop. The rest of the clinic I worked on cantering with two sticks. But if it wasn't for that experience I would have never felt confident. I now use that exercise with other horses that I am riding the canter for the first times. It helps keep my confidence up, putting my focus in that moment. 

Recently I had a heart to heart with a coworker who I hadn't had much conversation with before. I worried (as I always do) if she liked me and and if she thought I was doing a good job. Turns out she does think I am doing a good job, and she thought I was a very confident person. On the inside and in my head I still feel like that little unconfident girl, I haven't let go of the past. The moments of unconfidence arestill  much greater then the times of confidence. With the lifestyle change, huge move across the country, new people, and basically new life, I have had to quickly learn the lesson of 'not taking it personal'. Which has always been difficult for me but a lesson overdue to learn. Even though in my head I don't feel more confident I know my actions are showing confidence in every part of my life. The negative and self-degrading thoughts that would normally go through my head are slowly being replaced with positive or 'who cares' thoughts. I even talked to the cute ski lift operator! It used to be hard to call the pizza guy, yes the pizza guy. And as hard as it is to admit that, it's true. 

I have an overwhelming feeling when I think about how far Annabelle and I have come in just two years. It feels much longer then that. It's so exciting to think about where I will be in 2 more years. I have never been so exciting about learning. 

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible" - Walt Disney

Moving Forward

Well the past week or so hasn't been too promising with Annabelle- I'm not sure what I am doing wrong so taking a step back so I can move forward. I don't have any really specific goals now that my level 4 freestyle has been sent in. I continue to have a positive and progressive mindset and to keep things fun. She has been extremely explosive, striking the ground, bucking during circle game etc. The only thing that has changed in the past couple weeks is she is in a different pasture, with her same buddies, but its a change nonetheless. I went to hangout with her in the pasture today, she played in the water (much more playful then I have ever seen), she dunked half of her nose and laid down in it! As I started walking away to go play with Ariat she galloped away, rolled and then got up and started bucking and kicking at the little white LBE pony she's with. He thought that was awesome so they ran around and what I interpreted as play. After about 15 mins of this, she locked on to me and walked to me. Then followed me around, this confused me even more. Being that Annabelle is RBE she reacts in an unconfident way, and that is how I have interpreted it so far....lots to think about and try in the coming days. Ariat on the other had was a blast today, other then his take of canters, which I was able to fix. I started online getting him used to the water, he snorted at it the when I brought him over to it. After about 25 mins he loved walking and playing in it. Then we did some stuff on line. After that I did some riding, then hosed him off and did some liberty. It was AMAZING! I will post the YouTube link on here so you can see it. He has amazing draw I still have such a hard time getting used to it! Made me super happy! :D
http://youtu.be/-zUlOwek3bk

My experiences

Before I decided to write any of this I wanted to think of a way I could do so without offending anyone's ideas. But I decided to let you all know that this blog is purely about my experiences. I don't intend on offending anyone. 

I took a step back today to look at how far I have come, yes as a student but more so as a leader and teacher. When I was looking for a barn when I planned to move out to Colorado I was looking for somewhere with a lot of room and a place that had similar ideas on how to care for a horse. When I arrived the sudden realization that I would be representing Parelli, I was the only Parelli student. I was terrified, and 'lead by example' ran through my head about 100x. I knew I could go about doing this in two ways, be open about being a parelli student or allow people to figure it out. I decided to 'be bold', my new moto. After watching the teachings for a few days I knew I could help them, note that this is my first time feeling confident as a teacher. I started slowly by riding openly and doing the things parelli has taught me to do. I increased this more and more being a strong example for all the kids that come through. After watching 3 kids be bucked off from all LBI horses (left brained introverts) I got to thinking. With my license I can only teach online. So how could I create games online that would help the instructor understand what these horses needed (on the ground and in the saddle). Through many conversations with her she decided she wanted to know more about what I had to offer. May I add that all of the kids were yanking and pulling on these horses mouths with leverage bits in and being whipped for eating grass. When going over horseanality with her she was fascinated. It gave her an understanding to why her horses are doing this. I had to really think outside of the box to come up with ideas on line that she could then turn into riding skills. The game, I am pretty proud of this, I came up with is Figure out my Task, so you can eat some Grass. I thought of this to help her horses problem solve and be more connected to what she is asking. Even though I accomplished Annabelle not eating grass by leadership. I needed a game these left brained horses could learn that would then extend into 5,6,7,8 year olds. Started out by giving the horse huge clues on what the task was and continued to encourage her not to eat grass. At the end of the hour with the two of them playing this game her horse would eat grass but was so connected and interested in what her mom was going to do next that she didn't eat because she was waiting for the next task. It was like she was bouncing back and forth (eat grass, task, eat grass, task). She couldn't decide. She naturally loved the game attitude. 

A couple days later, she came up to me almost in tears so thankful for everything I have done. Telling me she was going to give Parelli a try again. I felt so proud of myself.

I have learned that instead of focusing on what I couldn't do, (Freestyle/riding), I focused on what I could do to help. I lead by example, every second I was there. I was always professional and in those tense conversations with parents I knew exactly what to say, I spoke from the heart, all ending well. I had to learn to be a better teacher. 

As many of you saw I filmed my level 4 freestyle. Annabelle is doing fantastic. Farriers gave me a good hoof report. I have been keeping up on the trimming and she told me to keep doing whatever I am doing so that's good!

Right Brained Extroverts

Today I decided to play online a little bit with Annabelle, I've been trying to not do too much with her. I feel as if I have become much more conscious of what things should look and feel like after playing with some other horses. Immediately when we got into the arena she exploded, reading and bucking and kicking out. I haven't experienced this in a long time. I felt her feeling a great amount of unconfidence. So I took things slow- approach and retreat. It's like I was starting over in our relationship again. The one thing I did differently was I allowed the blow up and pretended it didn't happen. She realized that I put no thought or energy on the blow up and she calmed down much quicker then ever before. Once I was able to get the 7 games and some blow outs I took her back to the pasture because I had plans for Ariat and I. For the first time ever she didn't leave me right away. I led her to her water tank and she drank and would normally either slowly walk away (much better option) or canter away calling to her buddies (my least favorite option). But today she looked over at them and turned her head back to me, with her head lowered, calm, and relaxed. I couldn't believe it, I was so happy. She walked away, but only to pee, and she came back!! I was thrilled I gave her multiple treats. 

Ariat was good tonight. I was able to get a half jump over the barrel. A somewhat slide stop during our stick-to-me game. I am having a really hard time with the canter leads. (I've never had to help a horse with canter leads because Annabelle is so athletic). He will pick them up 50% of the time and almost always gets them after I send him over a jump. Riding I have the same problem- I can get the front leads and not the back. But he is better from day one so I must be doing something to help him understand leads! He's a pro now at picking up the cone. AND I'm really excited about this..I have taught him to speak- I hope this is always a good thing lol. But I can get him to talk for a treat :)