Blessed Challenges

Not usually words you see together, blessed challenges. That sums up my week, I don't usually like to talk about too much personal life especially negative things on my blog. This blog is also like a journal for when I write a book, (hopefully can get around to that). This has been an incredible journey so far, there has been hard times and challenges but this is by far the hardest challenge maybe in my life because my mom and stepdad are 1300 miles away. Coming to michigan I had a place to stay, my best friends house. She has a farm so Annabelle could stay there. She is like an angel to me that God put here for me. She makes me want to be better, and do good in this world. She is extremely talented in the physical well being of a horse and certified it equine massage. What a perfect pair- me using the horse psychology and her knowing the body, together we know we are the perfect pair. Our weaknesses is the others strengths. On Monday night after an awesome day with our horses we were surprised with the news that her parents wanted me out. I wasn't given an explanation other then 'they want privacy'. I was heartbroken went outside to call my mom before the breakdown happened. I didn't want anyone to see me upset, weak, broken, and scared. I tried to have faith that there was a reason. Everything happens for a reason right? I wasn't completely shocked as they weren't very nice to me from the start, always telling me what I was doing wrong. And changing the rules to make it very difficult for me to live there. As if they were trying to make it my decision to leave. I didn't feel at peace there, felt like I was walking on eggshells. So even though I was devastated, it felt like a ton of bricks being lifted off my shoulders.  I am now living at the barn I first boarded Annabelle at. Living with Lori, the lady who taught me Parelli. I was welcomed with open arms, but I still feel homeless in a way. She has a family of her own, married with 4 boys and the farm. Feeling so alone, and unloved are hard feelings not to have. But I know deep down that I am surrounded with people who love me. During my second interview with Beaumont this morning I went up to visit a friend. I worked with him at Beaumont before, his fiancé who I have met a couple times gave me a beautiful bracelet with an amazing card that made me tear up. It could not have come at a more perfect time. I will post the pictures below. It reminded me that I have so many people who love me, for who I am. And for what I stand for, what I believe in. I should be surrounding myself with those people as I continue this journey. Not people who bring me down and remind me of a past I try to forget. I will be loving to them and kind, and treat them with respect. I will not feel guilty and ashamed for who I am. I will stand tall and trust God that no matter what happens its for a reason, and usually a good one. 

So where do I go from here? From here I will move forward look ahead. Praying I will get this job. My best friend and I have decided to get an apartment together, so she will be moving out of her house (horses too). And we will move forward with our dreams. I am only sad in times I feel lonely, I know this is right. But just because it's right, it doesn't make it easy. I will shine, no one and nothing can get in the way. I am strong. 

Annabelle Update

We have been watching Annabelle's 3 legs all week. Rain rot is treated and back leg swelling is gone. The one front leg swelling we discovered has been there since before I even had her. It's so subtle no one had ever noticed. After a trail ride a couple weeks ago we noticed it was swollen- no heat and no lameness. With almost a week off of just hand walking she was starting to get frustrated. She started rearing and wanting to play. I played with her today at the walk and trot just really light work. Continuing with the massaging, food changes, and some added supplements she's starting to look a lot better. Will be having the front leg swelling checked out to find out what exactly it is. If this week with some light work she remains ok, no heat or added swelling we will be doing a dressage schooling show- intro test on Sunday. Will keep you posted! 

Annabelle Update

I have been pretty lucky to not have anything major with Annabelle. Since I have been in Michigan we have really been focused on getting her moving better. While I was in Colorado she had a lot of minor injuries that kept her off and just in the pasture most of the year. Trying to get her back in shape and then I went to my externship. She looks better but not how she looked before I left Michigan. This morning she had 3 swollen legs, one of the legs we have been keeping an eye on. The other two had some rain rot on them and swelling went down after hosing and walking. Now just focused on the one leg we have been keeping an eye on. She will have most of the winter off for recovery, getting muscles looser and getting stronger. Heather has been giving her massages and they are making a huge difference. Nothing is serious which is a good thing, I believe we are sent what we can handle. Which leads me to the next part of this post. I have to finish my level 4, and I would love to with Annabelle. But her body right now just can't do it. So I am taking on a challenge for myself. A different partner to get to level 4, my goal is before the end of the year. Fable is a 12 yr old National Show Horse. He is my best friends horse, she has done some Parelli with him. But mostly dressage since she was 13 when she bought him. He is LBE/RBE, so extroverted and confident most of the time. He has already been a good teacher for me. I know it will be challenging but that's okay I like challenges. I am going to blog about my journey with him. 

Then, the last part is the logo some of you saw on Facebook. As I mentioned before I will be doing eventing with Annabelle. She is extremely talented and I'm excited to see her shine. (Big reason for giving her the winter mostly off). I want her to be really fit and strong and ready for the summer. And there are a lot of areas I still need to grow in that I don't need to put her through. I want to compete to show the world what Parelli helped me accomplish. I want to inspire people to live their dreams, to go after them. Not to be afraid of failing or worry about the road blocks that can occur to find away around them. My mom taught me that when the world throws crap in your face stand up, be strong, and don't be afraid. She inspires me everyday to find me, and be me. I don't want to just stand for one thing and be alone standing there. I want a team that has the same goals and dreams as I do to stand there and represent what we are about. That is where we got our name from. The logo was a combined effort but we did a lot from scratch. 

I will keep updates on Annabelle's progress, again nothing to be worried about just proceeding with caution and giving her the time she deserves and needs to make a full recovery. Thank you for your support!